I'm trying to go through my Deviant Art page and delete old art that I don't really like anymore. But its hard. A lot of them I know suck, but I posted them because there was something about each of them that I liked and that I wanted to share. But I want to start anew.. mostly. I've neglected my art for about a year now and as a result I can hardly draw what I used to be able to. That needs to be remedied. I want to be proud of my art, and right now I'm not.

I want/need to create a persona character. I never like any of the characters I try to make, but this time I will put more effort into it.

I've decided that I'm going to make the Jayne hat for a christmas gift. :P I know he'll like it. Lol. I just watched the whole Firefly series over the last three nights, what a fucking awesome show. I fucking love it. FOX is a piece of shit for cancelling it, though FOX is a piece of shit about everything they own so nothing new there.

School's been a bitch. I had another math test on wednesday that I'm hoping I passed. I was actually able to answer about 60% of it but simply ran out of time. Heres to hoping I pass.

Writing class is emotionally draining as the teacher continually contradicts herself and tells us do one thing then turns around and asks why we didn't do it another way. But I have to say the class is easy. I think our final assignment that takes place of an exam is to write a resume... I lol'd at that. Should be cake. But something that gets to me that I really didn't think would is that she always lets us out of class early. As in we're there for 15 minutes then we can go, this is supposed to be a two hour class. People are paying for her time and she doesn't want to stay. Its only two days a week... we need that class time. Uggh. I personally like getting to leave early, but there are people that spend up to an hour and half on the bus to get to this class only to be told to leave after 15-30 minutes. I would be pissed if I were them... or I just wouldn't go.

I've polished off a 90 piece box of halloween chocolate in the last few days... >.> I don't feel bad either. Maybe my body needed a rediculous amount of sugar, I haven't actually bought a chocolate bar in forever, and I've been eating good recently so a little binge is ok.. not that 90 chocolates is a little binge... lol. Now they're gone and I'm not buying more anyway, so its all good.

Time to go finish Burnt Offerings, appearently its one of the last in the series with a plot. I better enjoy it. Not that I won't enjoy the plotless erotica that makes up the later books.. lol.

I just had an epic idea... I am going to crochet Jayne Cobbs hat from Firefly! :D

I can't wait to wear it out and see how many people give me wierd looks or recognize it. :P

Sten you should make one too! As it was originally knitted anyway. We can compare results. XD

Went and saw Surrogates last night. I really enjoyed it! Sure the plot was predictable, but it was very enjoyable throughout. And Bruce Willis just seems to be aging with grace... >.>

The more I think about the movie, the more I like it. It just seems like something like that could totally happen, and in the not to distant future. Heh. But I won't spoil the movie. Go see it!!

Speaking of spoiling the movie, the song "I will not bow" by Breaking Benjamin was the first song of the credits and omg what an awesome song. I originally wanted to post the official video for the song, but the video sorta gives alot of the movie away. However, I did find an Inuyasha AMV to the same song, so you can have that. :D

LISTEN TO THIS SONG.




Lyrics:

Now The dark begins to rise
Save your breath it's far from over
Leave the lost and dead behind
Nows your chance to run for cover
I don't want to change the world
I just want to leave it colder
Light the fuse and burn it up
Take the path that leads to nowhere
All is lost again, but I'm not giving in

I Will Not Bow, I Will Not Break
I Will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away

Fall!

Watch the end through dying eyes
Now the dark is taking over
Show me where forever dies
Take the fall and run to heaven
All is lost again, but I'm not giving in

I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I'll survive, paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I am not proud, cold blooded, fake
I will shut the world away

You're right!

I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I'll survive, paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I am not proud, cold blooded, fake
I will shut the world away

Fall!

I am in a poor, poor mood. School was very depressing today. (well yesterday technically)

I had my math midterm, that I actually studied for! Which is an amazing feat for me. I never study. I spent over six hours on sunday studying, and hours the previous day as well. I was so proud of myself. As proud as I was, it would have helped if I was studying the right material. >.< The teacher said the test was on Chapters 1 through 5, though because he was unable to thoroughly go over chapter 5, he told us there would be very little chapter 5 on the test. So I studied the homework he assigned us, which conveniently covered chapters 1 through 4. Guess how much of the test was on chapter 5? About 90% of it. I couldn't even answer enough questions to pass.

-_-

Then of course there was writing class. We handed in our first assignments last week. Again, I was so proud of my work, I tried very hard on it. Like I said before, I really want to do well. We had been working on that assignment since the beginning of the course. Its a summary assignment about "Listening Skills", and as we working towards business skills, and eventually "Communication in the Work Place". She repeatedly said, over and over, class after class, that our summary assignment was about listening skills in the workplace. "Workplace this, Workplace that". She told us to gear the assignment towards our future goal workplace as well. So, she walks into the class today, glances over all of us, and tells us that after going over our assignments, she was extremely disappointed that none of us included anything about listening skills in the classroom. She went on and on in an extremely passive aggressive and condescending tone about how we should have known what to include, and this sort of thing wasn't going to fly in the future. I could see if we had missed something somewhere, or if some of us got it while others didn't. But there is a reason NO ONE in the class included classroom listening. That is not what the assignment was about. Even the article we were summarizing, was not about classroom listening. I guess I missed the part where we were supposed to read her mind, then make up shit.

Its also ironic really, our next assignment is on a book basically about how to succeed in life. And one of the main rules in this book is that one is not supposed to negatively criticize others, and even should give constructive criticism and complements on what they have done well, in order to encourage them, yadda yadda. She says she loves this book, and there is a reason that its so popular, and that we should use the rules in this book in our everyday life. I wish she would practice what she preached. I have never heard one nice thing come out of her mouth, and she spends all class telling us how wrong we are about everything. She even asks us our opinions on things, and when we answer, she says we're wrong. How can our fucking opinion be wrong? Maybe I'm being over-sensitive, maybe I'm just in bad mood. But I'm not the only one in class that feels this way, so it ain't just me.

Or maybe, she's trying to prepare us for the work life. That I can believe actually. How much it is going to suck, how much I'm going to be talked down to no matter how hard I try to do things well. Doesn't mean I have to agree with how she treats us, and I fucking hate it when people say one thing, and do something else, especially if their actions effect others. Either way, I'm just gonna suck it up. Only three more months, I'll still work hard, and get a good mark. Then I'll never take a class she's teaching again.

Like I said, piss poor mood. I need sleep. I need tylenol.

/rant

So... me and my boyfriend are starting yet another mmo. Haha. Aion. He's playing it right now, as he downloaded it last night, I'm downloading it right now. (its a four hour download... >.< ) It looks so cool. You can play either Elyos or Asmodians. Basically Angels and Demons. Both races get really super cool huge wings, and most of the game is based around flying. I can't wait till my download is done!

Maybe I should stop paying for the other three MMO's I have on the go atm... Heh.

I dun wanna school tomorrows... :(

Went to see Pandorum last night. And I have to say it was really really good. Very enjoyable!! I say people need to go see it, so go see it!! I like the fact that the ship's name was Elysium. :D Muahahha!

I'm about to go make some delicious coffee that I am totally obsessed with. Its a dark roast blend that says it has flavors of dark chocolate and dried red berries for a full body and a roasty finish. Oh man is that true. I'm not a huge fan of dark roast coffee, but I love really strong coffee, like battery acid strong. The kind of strong that you can put half the carton of cream in and its still dark looking. Most dark roast coffees just taste burnt to me though, so I usually go for a medium or medium/dark roast. But this coffee however, dark roast that it is, does not taste burnt, in fact, it is so full of flavor its rediculous. You really can taste the hint of chocolate in there, and the berries give it a very complete taste. Totally my favorate coffee right now.

So I'm gonna go make some instead of just writing how good it is..hehe.

Ever hear of the band Rise Against? Did you know that the whole band are straight edge (meaning they refrain from consuming alcohol, using tobacco, and taking recreational drugs) PETA supporters, and are strict vegetarians/vegans? Is that not something to admire?

I have to admit, I'm not really a fan of the bands music, but this one song of theirs really gets to me. They say its the most important video they've made, and I have to agree.

The video tries to bring some awareness to what really happens on this planet. How people treat the planet, and the creatures that just try to live here. Please watch the video, you don't even have to like PETA, its just a good message.

Heh. Yesterday in writing class, the teacher quickly counted us. There are supposed to be 35 students in the class and there were that many on day one.. but yesterday she counted 20. She called us the '20 survivors'. Haha. I guess I really wasn't the only one annoyed with her. I have a feeling the class will be ok though, she's just a really hard marker, but if you feign interest in the things she finds amusing (which are actually really lame things..), she seems to cheer up a smidge. Just don't ask her questions, or imply that she didn't explain something properly... Ee gawd..

On a happy note, I am now on the sixth Anita Blake novel: The Killing Dance. It took me months to get through the last one, as it was not very enjoyable in my opinion. But this one is appearently one of the better ones in the series. And I skimmed through it quickly, and theres actually sex in this one! Shh.. I didn't say that... XD

I actually started writing a oneshot Sesskag fic, and when I'm finished I think I'm going to submit it to Dokuga for reviews. :D I'll post it here too if anyone wants to read it, theres just some things that might not make sense if you haven't followed the Inuyasha story. Though I could make a little legend at the begining with important facts. We'll see.

I just finished some homework for writing class. I should REALLY do some math review, but I REALLY don't want to... and I can't even print out the notes because he posts them all in powerpoint, and I only have a powerpoint veiwer, not the actual program. If I were to print them out, it would be about thirty pages each chapter with huge ass font. There are three chapters. If I had the actual powerpoint program, I could condense it to about four pages each, but alas, I do not have the program, and I refuse to waste that much ink and paper. I plan to write out all the notes anyway like I did for the first few chapters, as it helps me absorb the information. But that will take me hours, and I might as well just do that for monday's class. Tomorrow will just have to suck.

Now to go do unproductive stuff..

Is it sad that I am excited that I finally have my printer with my computers? I had left it at my mothers place when I came to live with my boyfriend, that was years ago. Now finally, due to school reasons, I brought it over here. This makes me happy, as now I can't print off resumes, and projects, and even pictures with no hassle! Not to mention I can scan my sketches now and finally update my Deviant Art page after so long.

I'm on the fence about buying Microsoft Office Premium for students. The student price is 64 dollars, advertising that that is over 90% off. That is quite the deal. I don't have Office on either of my computers, so that might make it difficult to actually write up projects. Looks like my decision is made eh?

I found so many Inuyasha (mostly Kagome) icons the last few days, and I love them! I want to use all of them, but I can only use six on here, and msn is still down.*sadface* I found that with my fanfic writing, I have the most motivation to write song fics, which usually equals one-shots. Heh. Perhaps I shall post some of them? Kamelot lyrics make so many stories go through my head, its so motivational! I should have taken Creative Writing instead of Practical Writing, though it would not have counted towards my course..

This chocolate flavored coffee is absolutely amazing! Though I think I need to start drinking more green tea again.

Because I'm not about to complain about my Writing teacher on my facebook for obvious reasons, I shall do some ranting here.

She pisses me off to say the least. She won't make copies of handouts for us, she says if we want the notes, we have to ask her for them after class, photocopy them, and return them. The hell? I would MUCH rather she show them on the overhead projector for us to write them down. Why would I want to photocopy them? It costs me money, and more then likely I won't read it. Writing it down works so much better. She could have it on the overhead while shes talking...

Yesterday, she put us into groups, handed us five sheets of stuff, and talked about outlines and summaries. That's all fine and dandy, but she didn't tell us what we were doing in the groups. After she finished talking, every group asked her individually what we were actually supposed to be doing. Turns out we only needed one of the sheets for the group project and rest were to be handed back. She didn't even want us to read them! "Don't read these! Just 'scan' them." What was the point of that? We didn't need any of the information on those sheets, weren't supposed to read them, then hand them back. Ohhkayy. I know how to scan word documents. And when she handed out one sheet we could keep, she counted down the rows, and gave the first person in the row that many to hand down. Needless to say her counting is not that great, as she missed three of us in one row, and two in another. When we politely put our hands up and said we needed sheets, she gave us a very annoyed look, and asked if we were collecting for someone else or something, and held off giving us sheets. I felt like saying, "No, you just can't count." But I opted for "No." She grudgingly gave us the sheets, and threw them across the table. I tried very hard not to do anything mean or seem annoyed, I payed attention, and had all my notes out, but she kept looking at me, glaring more like, whenever she said anything about integrity, or being a good student. She actually paused after the words, and stared into my eyes. I was wearing really thick black eye makeup.. so maybe she was just looking at that? I hope I'm being paranoid, but other students were noticing her attitude as well, so it was not just me.

I pray to whatever entity watches over that school that she's not going to hate me and therefore mark me horribly. I can't afford that. I'll show her that I mean to do well. She seems like the type that would appreciate that, and at the same time, hates students that waste her time. As she has said many times over the last two days; her time, (and our time to a lesser extent) is very important.

I'm kinda worried about my Intro class, as during our break, the teacher came over to talk to me and a few other students. We were talking about calculators, and how hard it is for the teachers to monitor which calculators can store information, and therefore whether or not they should be allowed during tests. I mentioned that in high school, I knew of a few people that did save formulas and what not to their calculators to cheat on tests. She gave me a look, and said there are ways to inform the instructor of those sorts of things, so that my grade would not suffer. Then she walked away. I was stunned for a moment.. was that a threat? I hope she was trying to be funny... but I doubt it. I'm not about to 'tattle' on people. Why should my grade be affected? I'm not the one cheating. Besides that though, I still think she is a good teacher, so after class I talked to her a little, just so she could get to know me. I want to do well damnit!

Math is going to be hard! We had a review test yesterday, and I did really bad! 3/40 bad! Though in all fairness, most of the class got below 10/40, and it was the kind of material that if we spent maybe five minutes reviewing, the whole class would have done a lot better. But, it was a wake up call, and he more or less said that this is a college course, not math 11. We should know this stuff, and the mark on this test showed us that we needed to review on our own time. He was still open to help us, but class time was not going to be used on math 11 content. I completely understand and agree with that. And I also appreciate that this test did not count towards our grade. I better buckle down and study.

Speaking of studying, I better start on my homework that is due at exactly 11:59pm tonight.. heh.

So yesterday was my first day of college. And it was what I expected it to be.

I have three classes that are mostly unrelated unless one was going into the field that I am, which is why it was so weird that the first girl I met in my first class has all the same classes as me. She seems ok, sort of the preppy/popular type, but also really kind to others. I'll ask her for her student email address, it will be beneficial and convenient for me if I'm absent a day, I'd be able to ask her what I missed, instead of asking a person from each class. And I'd do the same for her.

First class was Introduction to Computers. The professor is really nice. She has been teaching computer systems for over ten years. She is very easy going it seems. Since I love computers and know I'll be very interested in the subject, I think this class will be the most enjoyable. Second class was Financial and Business math.. bleh. I hate math. I find it so difficult, but I need it to get into the field. At least its applicable math. I can't stand math that I can't see used in real life, it just does not compute in my brain. But the professor talked about profit gain and losses, and general business mathematics. I'm sure I can do it if I apply myself. The professor also seemed nice. He even said that he tries to mark on effort, so if I at least put effort into my math work, it should reflect that. Math class will be tolerable. Third class, Practical Writing. A class that I thought I would enjoy, I find writing very easy. I aced any essay or writing assignment in high school, though I know I shouldn't compare high school to college. As long as I know my facts, writing is easy. However, the professor of my Practical Writing class seems to be very annoying. She informed us that we will not longer be writing essays, we will be writing memos and reports. While I have no problem with reports, the word 'memo' pisses me off. I just can't see 'memo' as being a professional word, or even in fact meaning more than a letter of a few sentences. And she kept saying 'memo this' and 'memo that'. I'm sure I'll get over it, or perhaps I was just tired by the end of the day. I have a hard time thinking that I won't enjoy Practical Writing, as there is something very satisfying about looking at a completed project, with pages and pages of written down knowledge/opinions, knowing I did it. Hopefully I just got the wrong first impression from the professor.

Overall, after I got to school, it was a good day. I had wanted to go early to class so I could find all my classrooms before hand, so I wouldn't have to look for them when I only had a few minutes. The bus zoomed by me displaying a 'bus full' sign. So awesome that the bus company sends one shuttle bus that carries about twenty people for the morning rush of a whole residential area. So I caught the next bus, which would have been the normal one I take to get there by ten. But I found all my classes just fine. I think it will be a good semester.

On an unrelated note, its hot chocolate season again! At least for me it is. We had few very cold days this last week, and I craved hot chocolate, so I went and bought some mix. Yummy!

First day of college tomorrow. I hope its what I expect it to be.

I bought a new backpack, and it makes me more happy than it should. It has a padded laptop compartment that perfectly fits my laptop (not that I was really planning on bringing laptop to school), and lots of space for all my school books and supplies. And its very pretty.

I'm a little peeved at myself right now though, I just looked at the notebooks I bought, and one of them is grid paper. >.< I needed all ruled paper ones. *sigh* Maybe I'll be able to use the grid one for my math class? I hope so. If I can't, I guess I'll use it to make some crochet patterns. Hmm. That is actually a good idea. Though, with 279 pages, that is a lot of patterns.

I just filled one page in the ruled notebook, just to get my hand back in writing mode rather than typing, and after just the one page page, my hand is fucking killing me. I remember having this problem before. I spent a night writing a five page essay(outline, rough draft, and final copy) and could not use my hand for a day. I don't think I actually have a problem or anything, as I am aware that I press really hard with my pen, and I cannot for the life of me stop doing that. I'm thinking maybe I should bring my laptop to school, and type my notes. I'm still undecided. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm over thinking everything.

I'm glad my hand is fine when I crochet. :D

Theres this hilarious webisode called The Guild. It was created by Felicia Day who was also in Dr. Horrible's Sing along Blog. I suggest anyone who's played wow go watch it, now! And make sure you start with season one. I made link to it over in my link section on the side bar.

For now, here's a music video made by The Guild. I <3 it. You must watch it!!

Finally bought my last textbook. Though what I thought was only one more textbook that I needed, was actually a package of 6 books! Seriously, my back is going to break..

And I went to get my medical card thing, I finally found the student union office, with the hours posted on the door. They should have been open according to those hours, and there was a woman inside. So I knocked on the door, and she glares at me, then ignores me. So I look around all the notes and stuff to see if there was any reason I shouldn't be there... lo and behold, theres a tiny note, off in the corner saying they will be closed till the 8th. Sure, leave the daily hours posted nice and clear, and put another sign in the corner saying 'oh actually, we're closed'. Pisses me off.

On a happier note, I was reminded of the 'starving student' diet.. lol. So I bought a twelve pack of kimchi instant noodle bowls, and some KD. :D Makes me happy for some reason.

Went to a LARP yesterday! Remember FLAG? I made a few posts about it before. Well its back. Though due to work/school/D&D games, we can't actually commit to an ongoing thing with FLAG at the moment. But yesterday was the opening night for the new campaign, and we decided to help out by playing some monsters to intercept the parties. Me and my boyfriend played a couple of argueing goblins keen on looting party members. Of course they ended up killing us though. :P It was so fun. I might post pics later. :D

Logged onto wow for the first time in a few months, and omg! I love the new Druid forms! They are so pretty! I <3 cat form. :D Though I have to admit, with the new stuff coming with the new expansion, I will probably stop playing wow completely. I don't think I can handle all the changes. Tauren being enslaved by the orcs? No class/race restrictions? We're gonna have undead druids running around!! That doesn't even make sense! >.< They are just trying to bring it back to warcraft 2 style, which is bull, considering all the lore and how long it took for the two factions to become more accepting of each other. Nope, lets just wage full out war again for no reason! Arg...

I bought a new oil for my oil deffuser. I love it so much! Its called Citrus Dream. Its a mixture of lemon, orange, grapefruit and neroli oils. Its smells mostly like orange and lemon though. :D I absolutely love citrusy fragrances. And this one was on sale! The 30ml bottle is normally $24, but was on sale for $10, which is the usual price of a 12ml bottle. I got it from the store Saje, so its all natural. And also, lemon and orange oils are natural bug repellants, so maybe that will help with my spider problem. What I love about this oil is all the properties its said to have. (I know a lot of it is croc, and speculation, but I love the natural wellness stuff, so it makes me happy, even if its not true) It says that Citrus Dream helps balance and calm the nervous system; eases stress, anxiety, and tension; relieves fatigue; acts as an overall anti-depressant; and of course freshens the air. And besides, my oil deffuser is a dragon, so any time I get to use it, it makes me even more happy. :D

I have yet to find a layout that I really really like. This one is ok, though I am not too keen on all the titles being completely lowercase. And because I have such a wide screen and this is a wide layout, my posts look so small, as I can put four sentences, and they will only take one line. Heh.

Ah well. For now, it shall suffice.

More people need to listen to Kamelot. Seriously, no one I know listens to them. I can't fangirl with anyone! D: Guess thats what I get when I find a band by accident online, and no one around here even knows who they are. I'll just have to try harder to pimp them out!

Ahh! Schools coming up soon, and I still haven't bought my last textbook... I better get on that... :(

Le sigh. I have to say, that I am yet again infatuated with Sess/Kag. I found a website that is updated daily with Sess/kag Fanfics!! Makes me so happy! I can literally spend hours reading these stories, though I have to admit, its hard to find that perfect story. And it pisses me off that some people don't know what 'canon universe' means. I absolutely hate alternate universe stories for Sess/kag, (though I have read a few merely because they were so well written). IDK. Maybe I'm just too picky. :D

Now.. I need coffee...

EDIT: I put too much sugar in my coffee... D:

So I'm officially going back to school this September. I know, I know; about freaking time right? I've been out of school for over three years, and have almost nothing to show for it. I stayed at a dead end job for four years, and that got me nowhere. I qualify for jack all.

But I did learn how to speak to people, how to stick up for myself, and gained awesome customer service skills. So I guess thats good. I just stayed there for too long is all.

I'm not really sure how I feel about school yet. On the one hand, I feel I'm finally moving forward. I'm excited to actually obtain skills that people want me for, and I know I'll get a decent job out of it. Even if I don't stick with this particular path, the stuff I'll learn will be useful everyday. So no matter what, (unless I fail, but I won't let that happen) its win/win. On the other hand, I've never paid so much for something in my life! Its weird. Ah well. I'm sure it will pay off.

Some crochet projects I've finished in the last few months. Hehe. I just love how versatile crocheting is! :D

( I love my hook )